


Roses On A Breeze

by thefangirlingdead



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Fix-It, Lets be real all my shit is reincarnation AU and slow burn, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Reincarnation, Slow Burn, chapter 84 spoilers, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 12:49:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7802506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefangirlingdead/pseuds/thefangirlingdead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi and Erwin are connected by past lives. Sometimes Erwin remembers, sometimes he does not. When Levi eventually loses Erwin in this lifetime, he can only hope that next time around will be easier, that next time around, they'll be able to find one another and be together again. </p><p>(Shit summary, I'm sorry. Basically, this is a very long reincarnation AU and fix it fic for chapter 84)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roses On A Breeze

**Author's Note:**

> _It's all coming back to me,_   
>  _Roses on the breeze._
> 
> _You'll always be the love of my life._  
> 
> Title and lyrics are from [Roses On A Breeze](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=by9SSexXaHk) by Bear's Den. Go listen to it right now. It'll give you lots of feelings. 
> 
> I HAD to write a fix-it fic for chapter 84. Unfortunately it ended up taking forever to do because of work and life, but I hope this long ass thing makes up for it. Someone cry with me.

There’s something different about Erwin Smith, Levi knows that much the very second that their two worlds collide. It isn’t necessarily a spark of recognition, but that’s all Levi can think to compare it to when he first comes in contact with the other man, even as he’s fighting for his life, slashing at him with a small, sharp blade. Something changes when Levi first encounters Erwin Smith, but he doesn’t necessarily realize it until weeks later, outside of the walls for the first time, blanketed under sheets of rain and covered in the blood of titans, weighed down by the grief for his friends. It isn’t until Levi presses that blade against Erwin’s neck, until it digs into the flesh of his hand that it all seems to come together.

He _knows_ Erwin.

Levi remembers Erwin, but not like this. In an instant, it hits him.

_Suddenly, he’s chasing Erwin through the rain, ducking for cover cursing himself for allowing the other man to convince him to come out tonight. Then, he’s stopping abruptly underneath the awning of an apartment building. They’re on the opposite end of town from where they both live, are both unfamiliar with the building that they’re seeking shelter under, but as soon as they come to a stop, as Levi catches his breath at Erwin’s side, he feels like he is home._

Now, Erwin is gripping the blade. Levi’s hand trembles, uncertain. He wants to drop his weapon, wants to fall to his knees, but he freezes, staring into Erwin’s cold, blue eyes, familiar but unfamiliar all the same.

“It was the titans!” Erwin yells.

_“You’re an idiot,” Levi mutters as soon as he catches his breath enough to speak._

_“Oh?” Erwin asks by his side. When Levi chances a glance in his direction, he’s shooting him a small smile._

_“Yeah,” Levi assures, “I could have easily called a cab. Now we’re soaking and an hour away from your house-”_

_“But you followed me.”_

“If we just stay shut behind the walls, we are never going to escape this nightmare,” Erwin, _this_ Erwin, insists, on his knees in front of Levi, blood staining his hand, but drenched to the bone all the same. And Levi can’t help but stare down at him in disbelief, shock and confusion, the gears all clicking into place.

_Levi scoffs. “What was I supposed to do? You just left me there.”_

_“And now we’re here,” Erwin says, glancing up at the building that is providing them shelter._

_Levi rolls his eyes, but doesn’t do anything to put a stop to it when Erwin takes a step toward him. “Thank you for pointing out the obvious.”_

_Erwin simply smiles, eyes drinking in Levi. Then, he murmurs, over the sound of the pouring rain, “You look beautiful.”_

Erwin begins to rise to his feet, and Levi does nothing to stop him, powerless under the weight of his gaze, the weight of the memories flooding his senses. For a moment, he is unsure of what is real and what is not.

_“What?” Levi asks, dumbfounded. His heart races, but for a different reason entirely now. Not because of the few blocks they just ran, but because of the words coming out of Erwin’s mouth._

_“Sorry,” Erwin says, a smile pulling at his lips, “I thought I was just pointing out the obvious.”_

_And Levi, normally impervious to Erwin’s complements and advances, finally crumbles. He averts his eyes, shoving half-heartedly at his friend. His crush. His almost lover._

_Erwin takes another step into his space._

“What about you, Levi?” Erwin asks, voice powerful, commanding. “Will you let your eyes remain clouded?”

What Levi doesn’t say, what he can’t say, is that he sees clearer now than he can ever remember.

_Erwin’s fingers are surprisingly warm when he uses them to tilt his chin up, when he brushes a thumb over Levi’s jaw. He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t have to - it’s all there in his eyes, and Levi isn’t about to stop him. And when their lips finally meet, Levi’s walls come crumbling down._

Levi remembers Erwin. He _knows_ Erwin, and maybe that’s what stops him from killing the other man that fateful day. Maybe that has a hand in his decision to remain in the Survey Corps. Whatever it is, Levi only learns more about it over his years at Erwin’s side.

He also learns that Erwin doesn’t remember one bit.

* * *

 

At first, Levi chalks it up to trauma, to the loss of Farlan and Isabel, to this turning point in his life, but when those images remain in his mind, clear as day, and when they return to him again and again in his dreams and even during waking moments, they’re impossible to deny.

The thing is, he remembers Erwin, but as an awkward, lanky teenager, as a young man who quickly grew into his mind and body, as the neighbor down the street, his best friend and subject of his adolescent fantasies. Levi remembers Erwin in business casual, hair slicked to the side, or dressed up for prom. Half naked on top of his bed, shooting him a sly smile before crawling over his body. He remembers growing up with Erwin, starting their lives together, but that’s impossible, because it isn’t the Erwin from _this_ life.

It comes back to Levi in bits and pieces after that moment outside of the walls - the moment that changes Levi’s life forever. It doesn’t come flooding back, rather in random, unexpected increments, when Levi just begins to think that maybe, it was all just a very vivid dream. That maybe, he just has an innocent (though rather inappropriate) crush on his Commanding officer.

But it just doesn’t make sense, doesn’t add up, and as Erwin and Levi begin to grow closer, as their partnership and friendship begins to form, it only happens more often, only becomes more vivid.

Almost two years into his time in the Survey Corps, Levi has no doubts about reincarnation. Some would say that it’s his way of coping with the massive losses he has suffered as a soldier, and he’s content to let them feel that way, but he knows the truth. The fact of the matter is, he and the Commander are connected through a previous life, whether the other man knows it or not.

The problem is, he doesn’t. Sometimes Levi thinks he sees it, a flash of recognition in Erwin’s eyes as they sit together in his office, when Levi brings him lunch or when he asks for Levi’s help formulating a plan or formation for an expedition, but just as fast as it’s there, it’s gone.

It takes nearly three years for Levi to muster up the courage to say something.

When he does, it’s on a quiet evening as the two of them sit in Erwin’s office, across from one another at his desk, going over the plans for a future expedition again, and again, and again. After a couple of hours of work, Levi leaves to fetch some tea, and as he does so, he gives himself a pep talk.

 _This is it. This is the night you ask Erwin about it. You can do this_.

And the look that Erwin gives him as he steps back into the office only solidifies things. There’s that flash in his eyes again, a spark of recognition, of something that Levi has felt countless times over. Erwin _has_ to feel it, too.

As they go over the formation once more, searching for possible holes or weaknesses, Levi finds it hard to concentrate. Instead of paying attention to Erwin, he finds himself studying his face, the hard lines around his eyes, the slight downturn of his lips. He’s a hardened Commander, changed by countless expeditions and the deaths of hundreds of soldiers, but there’s a soft youthfulness about him, too. Levi sees it in the way he closes his eyes after taking a sip of tea, in the way that his words speed up excitedly when he discusses the next expedition and the new formation - “I really think this one will work, Levi.”

And that’s how Levi loses himself, studying Erwin’s movements, his mannerisms and his voice. He finds himself visually tracing over the hard line of his jaw, the soft flesh of his lips, his calloused fingers and strong hands. He gets lost studying Erwin until his voice brings him back to earth.

_“Levi?”_

Just like that, the trance is broken. Levi’s head shoots up.

“Yeah, sorry,” he mutters, “What were you saying?”

Erwin studies him for a moment, as if trying to understand the thoughts racing through Levi’s head. “I was wondering what you thought about keeping the supply carts in the back of the formation,” he says, “Or if it would be smarter to move them to the middle.”

“Oh,” Levi breaths, “I uh… The middle, I guess.”

Erwin narrows his eyes, brows drawn. He knows something is different. Levi should have known better. “What is on your mind?” Erwin asks.

And now is a better time than ever.

Levi clears his throat, waits a beat, and then finally takes the plunge. “Do you believe in reincarnation?”

Erwin is quiet for a moment. “Reincarnation?” he asks carefully, surprised by the sudden turn in the conversation.

“Yeah,” Levi affirms. “Like, past lives.”

“I know what reincarnation is,” Erwin says, “But why do you ask?”

Levi opens his mouth, then promptly closes it. Where does he even begin? How does he begin to tell Erwin that he is fairly certain that he remembers him from a previous life? That he’s not crazy, it just makes sense…

And then he decides to back out.

“I don’t know,” he mutters, “It’s nothing. It’s stupid. Sorry I asked.”

“ _Levi_ ,” Erwin reaches forward to grab his hand, and it isn’t until then that Levi realizes he had started to stand, prepared to run away from the situation. Now, he gazes down at Erwin’s hand, fingers wrapped around his own, and tries not to think about the first time they held hands, a lifetime ago.

“ _What_?” Levi asks, voice all but a whisper. His hair feels like it’s standing on end.

“It isn’t stupid,” Erwin insists. He releases his grip on Levi’s hand after a moment, motioning for him to sit once more. And who would Levi be to disobey?

“My father had theories about reincarnation,” Erwin says as soon as Levi takes his seat once more. “But… I haven’t given it much thought. I’ve been more preoccupied with the task at hand. But if there is something that brought this on-”

“No,” Levi interrupts, “I mean, not really. I was just wondering.”

“You don’t ask meaningless questions,” Erwin presses, eyes trained on Levi, searching out the truth. “So why ask now?”

Levi sighs. He runs a hand through his hair, averting his gaze. By now, it’s apparent that Erwin doesn’t remember, but Levi can’t lie to the other man. They have a strong bond, a relationship based on trust. If he lies to Erwin now, the man will no longer have that unshakable trust for him, and he doesn’t want to lose that, doesn’t want to lose this relationship, whatever it may be.

“When we met, something felt… different,” Levi tries to explain. He sees Erwin’s lips twitch up into a slight smile for a brief second, but as soon as the other man senses how serious he is, it fades.

“What do you mean by _different_?” Erwin asks.

“Like recognition,” Levi tries to explain, “Which is impossible, because I had never seen you before. And then, after that first expedition, when I tried to kill you-”

Levi tries not to notice the way that Erwin digs a thumb into his palm, as if reliving that moment as well, but it’s impossible to ignore.

“It was like…” he shakes his head, “I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like I remembered something, but it couldn’t have been from this lifetime. I almost felt like a dream.”

For a moment, it is quiet in Erwin’s office. His gazes never once falters, never leaves Levi’s face, even as he tries to process all of the information that Levi gives him, as strange as it may sound. “Stress and grief affect people in many different ways…” Erwin starts, but before he even finishes, Levi is shaking his head.

“This wasn’t stress,” he insists. “Or Grief. It was… different.”

“How so?” Erwin asks.

Levi sighs. He is the first to break eye contact again, looking down at his hands. He remembers the moment clear as day - Erwin, on his knees in front of him, blade pressing into his palm, and Erwin, standing in front of him, a smile on his lips, leaning down for a kiss. “It was just different,” he mutters, “It’s stupid, forget I said anything.”

Again, Erwin is stopping him, reaching out to touch his hand, anchoring him in the now.

“Try me.”

And just like that, it all comes out.

“We were younger,” Levi says, “It was raining, but we weren’t outside of the walls. We were in some sort of a city, but not like the cities behind the walls. The buildings were much taller, smoother, cleaner… I don’t know.”

“What happened?” Erwin asks, pressing forward, “Why do you think it connected with that moment here?”

“I don’t know,” Levi says, “I don’t understand it. We were just… Talking.”

“About what?”

Levi’s eyes narrow. “Why is that important?”

It isn’t until then that he realizes how serious Erwin looks. He doesn’t think that he is crazy. He’s trying to understand. It’s more than Levi could have hoped for, and Erwin’s words just confirm that. “I want to understand,” Erwin insists, “If my father was killed for what he believed in, and he had theories about reincarnation, then there is a chance that it could be true.”

Levi swallows. “Oh.”

“So what did we talk about?” Erwin asks, “In this memory.”

“We uh… I was chasing you through the rain, and we came to rest underneath a building. I was giving you shit about something... I don’t know, it’s not important.”

“Levi-”

“You kissed me,” Levi says at last. “In this memory, you kissed me. That’s all I remember.”

And then, just as Levi feared, Erwin goes quiet. Suddenly, his hand feels heavy on his own, but it doesn’t retreat. For a moment, Levi entertains the idea of threading their fingers together, just to see if it feels the same, but doesn’t. Instead, he just swallows, waiting for Erwin to discredit him, to tell him to leave.

But he doesn’t.

* * *

 

A few days after Levi’s admission, Erwin comes to him. Levi is in the courtyard, training with some new recruits when he spies the Commander out of the corner of his eye, standing off to the side, observing. When he finally releases the cadets into groups to spar, he approaches the other man.

“Do you need something?” Levi asks. He feels stiff around Erwin, different after their conversation about reincarnation. Although he didn’t flat out call Levi crazy or tell him that he was just imagining things, he also didn’t confirm or deny is theories. Not to mention, he hasn’t said a word about the supposed kiss that Levi remembers.

“A word,” Erwin says softly, “When you are finished here.”

“In your office?” Levi asks.

“Yes.”

When Levi does arrive, it is nearly an hour later, after he has dismissed his cadets and found time to clean up. When he walks through Erwin’s door, it’s without knocking, and with tea for himself and his commander.

“You wanted to see me,” Levi says as he takes a seat across from Erwin, in his usual spot.

“I did,” Erwin says. He forgoes the tea for the time being, instead opening a desk drawer to retrieve what looks like an old, tattered journal. He sets it on the desk and pushes it toward Levi, meaning for him to take it.

“This is my father’s only possession that I managed to hide when they took him from us,” Erwin says as Levi picks up the book and begins to thumb through it. The pages are worn, covered in notes, both old and new, some in handwriting that he recognizes as Erwin’s and some that he does not. “It was one of his many journals,” Erwin explains, “Although I am sure that there was even more information in the books that they took, this has many of his theories about titans and the walls, as well as some information on memory loss and reincarnation.”

Levi pauses, glancing up at Erwin. “Why are you sharing this with me?”

Erwin offers Levi a smile. “Because you are the first person to speak of reincarnation aside from my father. There is some information that you may find useful in there. It seems you were meant to have it.”

“I can’t take this,” Levi says, setting the journal back on the desk, even though he can’t help but wonder what Erwin’s father has written about reincarnation. Would it match up with the things that Levi has been experiencing?

“I’m lending it to you,” Erwin says, “I trust you, Levi. And if this can help you understand, or if you can help me make sense of it, I want you to have it.”

Levi swallows. “What does it say about reincarnation?” He is certain that Erwin has already read it, time and time again. He’ll know what it says, likely by heart.

“There isn’t much information,” Erwin says, “And they are all just theories-”

“But…”

“But he mentions that some people, if their connection to their previous life is strong enough, could possibly remember fragments of it.”

 _Fragments_. That’s a good word for it. It only comes to Levi in bits and pieces, unexpected and uncontrollable.

“What causes it?” he asks.

“Trauma,” Erwin answers, “Stress, unfinished business, or possibly reconnecting with someone from a past life.”

Levi’s eyes widen. “Like-”

“Like me,” Erwin affirms. “I may not remember the things that you do, but it wouldn’t be right to discredit you, especially if my father believed in reincarnation. He hasn’t been wrong yet.”

Levi swallows. Images, memories flash before his eyes. Erwin giving him a key to his place -

_“I trust you. I want you to be part of my life, Levi.”_

Erwin, smiling at him, illuminated by morning light -

_“You’re incredible, you know that?”_

And he reaches out to take the journal.

“I’ll read it,” he says, “But I can’t promise that it’ll help.”

* * *

 

It’s right, all of it. Levi hangs on Erwin’s father’s every word, and immediately, he understands why Erwin has done so for years now, not that he ever doubted the validity of the man’s research and beliefs. It’s different to hold it in your hands, to read what someone, a complete stranger, wrote decades ago and understand exactly what they mean. It’s different when someone puts it into words for you.

Levi’s memories come in waves, just as the journal suggests. They feel more vivid than dreams, similar to a hallucination, but Levi is able to determine what is is present and what is past. What is “real,” so to speak, and what is not. At least, not in this lifetime. He can’t control when it happens, and when it does, it takes over all of his senses, his entire body.

The journal simply backs up Levi’s experiences, and when Levi confirms this to Erwin, Erwin believes him, no questions asked. The amount of trust that the Commander has in him without having ever experienced anything that Levi has should be surprising. In fact, if it were three, even two years earlier, Levi would be surprised, but not now. He’ll be the first to admit that they have a closer bond now, and not just because of their shared past. Hell, Erwin doesn’t even remember _that_ part.

It goes without saying that they were _together_ in this past life. Erwin doesn’t have to ask and Levi doesn’t have to tell him. Like many things in their lives, it goes unspoken, and from there on out, their relationship is never the same.

* * *

 

The night after returning from one expedition, an unrelenting storm descends on the Survey Corps headquarters, and the second that Levi hears the rain begin to patter against his window, he knows that he won’t be getting any sleep. Every time he closes his eyes, the rain turns into something else - hoofbeats, heavy footfalls, the distant screams of fallen soldiers. He tries to shake the images and memories from his head, but they remain. Despite Levi’s good memories of rain, both from this life and a past one, all he can hear is pain, terror, death.

So in the middle of the night, he finds himself wandering down dark corridors until he reaches Erwin’s office and adjoining bedroom. Thankfully, light seeps out from underneath the door, and without even knocking, he lets himself inside.

Sure enough, Erwin is seated across the room at his desk, head bowed as he reads over paperwork that he has likely been studying for hours. He glances up when Levi enters the room though, and for a quiet moment, they share a look of understanding.

“I can’t sleep,” Levi mutters in explanation - not that he needs it - and makes a beeline to the sofa.

For the majority of the night, Levi stays seated in that spot, watching Erwin work, reading over paperwork and newspapers that he has already scoured numerous times. It’s on that sofa that Levi eventually drifts off into unconsciousness. Later, when Levi wakes, he’ll attribute it to the fact that Erwin’s room is on the opposite side of the building, that the rain had been pounding against his own window while it was softer on Erwin’s. He’ll never admit that he feels safer in Erwin’s office, in his company.

When he does wake though, groggy and barely conscious, it’s because something has shifted, because there is a blanket draped over his body, soft, warm and comforting. Levi reaches up to grab the blanket and wrap it around his shoulders, and that’s when his hand just barely bumps something, hovering right over him. He doesn’t have to open his eyes to know that it’s likely Erwin’s hand. Instead, he just settles deeper into the couch, half awake and appreciative for the extra warmth and Erwin’s understanding.

What he doesn’t expect is, after a few moments, for that hand to return. This time, it isn’t Levi accidentally bumping him, but Erwin reaching down, his fingers lightly dancing across his cheek, his jaw, his chin. Normally, Levi would tense at such an intimate touch, but half-awake he simply sighs, relaxing against it. In his sleep addled mind, Levi wonders if this is just a remnant of a memory, if this is something that simply happened a lifetime ago, more powerful now that he’s nearly dreaming, or if Erwin Smith, 13th Commander of the Survey Corps is really allowing such an intimate moment only because he thinks Levi is asleep.

* * *

 

Time goes on, and they become closer. Levi finds himself at Erwin’s side more often than not, helping him formulate plans for an upcoming expedition, aiding in finding the right words to tell a parent that their son or daughter died fighting valiantly for the freedom of mankind. Other nights, Levi will lounge on Erwin’s sofa, reading out loud to him until the other man is pulled from his work, distracted by Levi’s persistence. And sometimes, Levi will find himself perched on the edge of Erwin’s desk as he works, pulling papers out of his hands in an effort to force him to relax.

“You are going to work yourself to death,” Levi says, holding the paperwork just out of Erwin’s grasp, taller for once, as his Commander sits at the desk.

“I will not,” Erwin insists, reaching for the papers though his attempts to retrieve them are futile. “I need to get this done, Levi.”

“Yeah, that’ll sound great,” Levi continues, ignoring Erwin’s protests. “ _Erwin Smith_ , the great Commander of the Survey Corps, found dead at his desk because he was too fucking stubborn to take a break.”

“Levi -”

“Ten minutes,” Levi insists. He takes a step back, out of Erwin’s reach, and folds the paper, shoving it into his pocket.

“Just give me ten minutes,” he says, placing his hands on Erwin’s shoulders. The other man tenses at the contact, opens his mouth and then closes it. Levi smiles. “What do you say?

“I’ll only have to work later,” Erwin attempts to argue.

“Then work later,” Levi counters, pressing his thumbs into Erwin’s shoulders as he talks, as if to prove a point. What he doesn’t expect is for his Commander to immediately relax under the pressure, his shoulders sagging ever so slightly, head dropping just barely. Levi freezes for a fraction of a moment, worried that maybe, he has crossed some invisible threshold, that Erwin will pull away any second. But nothing happens, and again, when he presses his fingers into the flesh, Erwin relaxes.

“I’ll bring you some tea,” Levi says as he begins to rub small circles with his thumbs, as if to ease the tension, both literally and figuratively. “And stop you from falling asleep and drooling all over your hard work. Sound good?”

Erwin doesn’t immediately reply. Instead, he simply hums in response, and Levi takes that as a yes, smiling to himself as he gets to work on his Commander’s tense muscles. He never expected this to happen, certainly didn’t plan it by any means, but Levi is glad that Erwin doesn’t stop him. The other man _does_ need to relax from time to time, and if this is what it takes, then so be it.

For the next ten, fifteen minutes, Levi feels Erwin melt under his hands, working his back, neck, shoulders and even his arms with nimble fingers and just the right amount of pressure - too much but not quite enough. And to his surprise (and delight) Erwin completely succumbs to the touches, even leaning into the press of Levi’s fingers at times. It isn’t until Levi presses into a particularly tender spot on Erwin’s neck that Erwin releases a breathy sigh, almost verging on a groan, and just as fast as his fingers are there, they’re gone.

It’s not that Levi doesn’t want to help, it’s not that he doesn’t want to make Erwin feel good, it’s just... Well, in fact, it’s the opposite. Levi _wants_ to make Erwin feel good. He wants to touch him, wants to feel him come apart underneath his hands, and that’s just the problem.

Erwin also seems to realize why Levi pulls away, and like the flip of a switch, he is back to his usual self, but not before he reaches out, grabbing Levi’s hand before he can walk away and murmuring a soft, “Thank you, Levi.”

* * *

 

“It wasn’t your fault,” Erwin says, voice soft as he sits at the edge of Levi’s bed. Levi’s foot is propped up on Erwin’s knee as Erwin gently wraps it, his fingers nimble and kind. Erwin had shown up unannounced at Levi’s door shortly after returning home and demanded that he get his leg looked at. When he refused, Erwin asked that he at least take care of it, which lead them to this moment, Levi trying to hold back his tears while Erwin insists that he did nothing wrong. But when Levi closes his eyes, all he can see are dead soldiers and friends. His _squad_ , dead in an instant because he wasn’t there.

“Erwin -”

“I know that you’re going to blame yourself, just as you did with Farlan and Isabel,” Erwin says matter-of-factly. “But this isn’t on you. There is nothing that you could have done to change the outcome of their fate without losing your own life in the process.”

“ _Erwin_ -”

Levi wants to argue, but then, just like that, a memory hits him like a wave.

_“There is nothing that you could have done.”_

_Levi remembers those words, spoken to him by Erwin in a similar tone, just after he received the news of his mother’s passing. An accidental drug overdose on prescription meds that she had been taking for years. Truly, he had no way of knowing, but that doesn’t stop him from blaming himself._

_He and Erwin are in the hospital, and Erwin is on his knees in front of where he sits, deflated and devastated in a hospital chair. He’s only 22 years old, and he has lost both of his parents._

_“Look at me,” Erwin murmurs, reaching forward to gently cup his chin, “This isn’t on you.”_

And, just like in his memory, Levi collapses forward into Erwin, overcome with emotion. Only this time around, it’s tenfold - grief spilling over from a previous life into this one, mixing with the anger, frustration and self-hatred he feels for allowing his squad to die.

Erwin seems to understand immediately.

“Is this -?” he begins to ask. Levi is nodding before he can get the question out.

“ _Yeah_ ,” he chokes, “Yeah.”

And just like before, in a previous life, Erwin holds him.

* * *

 

Levi is in love with Erwin Smith. He’s in love with Erwin, and those feelings almost come to a head when Erwin loses an arm and nearly loses his life beyond the wall, without Levi by his side. It has gone unspoken ever since Levi told Erwin about his memories, ever since they first became closer with one another. They had been together in a previous life, and more often than not, Levi longs for that connection now. He knows that there’s something there, there always will be, but he also understands the risks of acting on it.

However, Levi can’t help the way he breaks down once he and Erwin are alone together. The fact of the matter is, he’s terrified of losing Erwin, the one person he’d walk through hell for, and whether he’s romantically involved with him or not has nothing to do with it.

“I didn’t -” Levi stammers, sitting at Erwin’s bedside, “ _We_ didn’t know if you were alive - if -”

“Levi, I’m alright,” Erwin insists, sleepy, doped up on pain medication, but still able to shoot him a half smile. Something meant to be reassuring but only worries Levi more.

“You’re missing a fucking _arm_ , Erwin.”

“But I am alive,” Erwin argues.

Levi scoffs, crossing his arms. “Barely.”

For a moment, it is quiet. For a moment, he and Erwin share a look of understanding. Erwin knows why Levi is so worked up, why he cares so much. Then, Erwin is patting at the bed with his left hand - his only _remaining_ hand - motioning for Levi to take a seat next to him. “Come here.”

“I -” Levi begins to argue, but Erwin is quick to counter him.

“ _Please._ ”

And it’s not fair. It’s not fair, because Levi can’t say no to Erwin. If Erwin told him to leave the room right now, to climb over the wall right this instant and slay every titan in his name, Levi would do it in a heartbeat. So climbing into bed with him, something Levi has only dreamt of, only seen in distant memories, that’s something he can do with ease. He just never pictured it like this.

“This life is unfair,” Erwin says, an echo of Levi’s thoughts. Levi snorts out a half-laugh in response and Erwin smiles fondly as he continues, “But it is not without good. Friends and allies like you, Mike and Hange… You are well worth fighting for. This is _all_ worth fighting for.”

Levi furrows his brows and begins to argue, “But -”

“But you weren’t there,” Erwin finishes, “And yet I am alive. It’s alright Levi. It’s going to be alright.”

Levi huffs, frustrated, subdued. “How do you know?”

“Because,” Erwin replies simply, “You’re here now.”

And before Levi can even breathe an argument, Erwin is leaning close and pressing a soft, fleeting kiss to his temple.

* * *

 

Levi dooms humanity the moment that he allows Erwin Smith to die on that fucking rooftop. The second that he sacrifices everything he’s ever fought for to put Erwin at peace, he may as well be sending the entire world straight to Hell. He knows it, and Hange knows it, but the others don’t realize the consequences of his choice immediately.

But Levi knows. He knows, and Erwin knows, even though he thanks Levi with his last breath.

Before their final expedition, before Erwin departs on his suicide mission, he and Levi are allowed one final moment together. It’s short and fleeting, but in reality, so is all of their time together in the grand scheme of things.

“We won’t make it out of this alive,” Levi says, more certain of the truth in his words than he has ever been. It’s also in this moment that Levi realizes their unimportance in this world. If they fail, everything they’re ever accomplished will be in vain. If they perish now - and they likely will - everything is for naught. He should have fucking kissed Erwin months, maybe years ago.

“We may yet,” Erwin replies, always hopeful. Always optimistic. Levi scoffs.

What he doesn’t expect though, is for Erwin to reach out, grabbing his arm and anchoring him into the moment. For just a few seconds, it’s only them. No titans, no soldiers, no dead bodies. Just the two of them. “But if we don’t -”

“If we don’t, you come find me,” Levi finishes Erwin’s thought for him, voice low. “Find me next time, Erwin.”

Erwin offers a small, sorrowful smile. “Levi -”

“Tell me,” Levi interrupts, because he needs to know. He can’t die not knowing... “If this were a different life… If things weren’t what they are now-”

“Yes,” Erwin answers before Levi can finish asking his question, “Yes, of course, Levi.”

_Yes, we’d be together._

Levi smiles, but it’s an ugly, sad thing. “It’s bittersweet, isn’t it?”

Erwin doesn’t answer, but he does reach out, allowing their fingers to brush. “Are you ready?”

Despite his better judgement, Levi solidifies the touch, lacing their fingers together, squeezing briefly, just to feel something familiar, even if it’s a remnant of a past life. “Yeah.”

After Erwin is gone, Levi can’t help the way he collapses against his chest, his lifeless form. “Find me,” he whispers, a mantra of the last words they spoke to one another, “In another life. Please.”

* * *

When Levi and Erwin do meet again in the next life, it’s in the middle of a busy terminal in the Detroit Metro Airport.

As he did in his past life, Levi remembers the previous one, but unlike last time, it happens long before he finds Erwin. And unlike last time, the memories are painful, filled with anger, hatred and terror, repression, self-loathing and just a small sliver of hope. Levi remembers his past life long before he finds Erwin, while he is just a sophomore in high school, and spends almost every waking moment afterwards searching for him.

In between his search, though, Levi finds a home for himself in a small town in Michigan, close to one of the Great Lakes but far enough away from the city that it’s peaceful. Lush, green, beautiful and most of all peaceful, Levi’s home in this lifetime is a stark contrast to that of his past life. This time around, Levi makes a comfortable living for himself as a graphic designer, and in his free time, rides his motorcycle along the shores of the lakes. From his backyard he can see for miles upon miles, not a wall in sight. It’s everything he’s ever dreamt of, but it’s missing one thing.

Erwin isn’t there to share it with him.

By the time Levi reaches the age of twenty-eight, he has all but come to accept the fact that maybe, he and Erwin were never meant to meet in this lifetime. Maybe it’s for the best. They both suffered so much pain in their previous lives that, despite their promise to find one another, maybe it just isn’t meant to be.

On this day in particular, Levi finds himself in the middle of a busy airport as he readies to board a flight to Dallas, Texas to visit his mother who, in this lifetime, is alive and well, although a few states away. Walking through the airport, Levi finds himself (as he typically does) subconsciously searching for a recognizable face in the crowd. Even now, when he has all but given up his search, he always holds onto a little bit of hope in places like this - places like airports, where you meet people you would have never encountered otherwise.

And that’s exactly where he finds Erwin.

When he first sees his face, he thinks that he is hallucinating, that it’s just another memory coming back to him, his past coming back to haunt him. But when Levi blinks and Erwin is still very much there, very real and walking in his direction, he nearly has a heart attack. Erwin is just as he remembers him, sharp features, strong jawline and clear blue eyes, but this time around, he’s dressed in business casual, hair slicked neatly to the side, and at first, their eyes don’t meet. At first, he’s just another face in the crowd.

But then Erwin sees him, and Levi’s world nearly comes crumbling down around him, because while Erwin sees him, he doesn’t _see_ him. There is no flash of recognition in his eyes, no falter to his step or smile that tells him that Erwin knows who he is. The closer they get to one another, Levi forcing his feet to carry him forward, the more apparent it becomes that Erwin doesn’t remember him.

Levi wants to say something, but the words die in his throat. He wants to continue forward, but his feet won’t carry him any further, and as Erwin passes him by without so much as missing a beat, Levi does nothing but stop and stare.

_He doesn’t remember._

Just like their past life, Erwin doesn’t remember. But back then, they had a reason to be together, a connection that kept them tethered despite their past and whether or not they remembered it. In another life, Erwin believed Levi when he spoke to him about reincarnation, but now? Now, Levi would just look like a crazy person, a stranger to Erwin. Now, he’s just a face in the crowd, a passing glance, gone forever once Erwin boards his flight. And Levi doesn’t even have it in him to say something.

Erwin didn’t remember last time, so why would he now? Maybe, Levi just isn’t worth remembering, despite their past, despite their promise to find one another. Maybe, their connection just wasn’t strong enough. Maybe Erwin doesn’t feel that they have unfinished business.

Maybe it’s better this way. Erwin is likely unburdened with painful memories of a past life. Of their failure, of their almost-love.

With a shaking breath, fists clenched at his sides, Levi forces himself to move his feet, to continue forward. However, he only walks about five steps before he hears someone call his name, and it’s a voice he never thought he’d hear again.

_“Levi?”_

When Levi turns, slowly, carefully, terrified that it’ll just be a remnant of a memory, a hallucination, hope but nothing more, it’s to find that Erwin has stopped walking as well. Instead of a memory or a nightmare, Erwin stands before him, facing him, watching with fear and uncertainty brimming in his eyes. Tentatively, Levi offers him a smile, and that’s all it takes before Erwin is moving in long strides, quickly closing the gap between them.

Before Levi knows what’s happening, Erwin is enveloping him in a warm, tight hug, and Levi will be damned if he doesn’t hold onto the other man for dear life, burying his face into his chest in return. For a moment, it doesn’t feel real. Levi inhales and it smells familiar, smells like Erwin, but he’s afraid that when he opens his eyes, it’ll all be a dream.

But then Levi pulls away, ever so slightly, and Erwin is _there_ , and Levi can’t help but smile stupidly up at him. People walk around them in the busy terminal, but for a moment, just this brief moment, they’re the only two people left on earth.

“I thought -”

“ _I know_ ,” Erwin says, a sigh of relief, before Levi can finish his thought. “I wasn’t sure if you -”

“ _Oh god_ ,” Levi groans, eyes wide at the realization that they both remembered one another but were just too scared to say anything, afraid that the other didn’t know. “What if we both would have just kept walking?”

Erwin lets out a surprised laugh. “Just our luck.”

And Levi can’t help but mutter a breathless, exhausted, “ _Fuck_ ,” before falling once more against Erwin’s sturdy form, wrapping his arms around his middle. The two were never quite this affectionate in a past life, but now, Levi can’t help it because he’s _tired_. He has been searching for Erwin for years, trying to find his face in every single crowd, and now here he is right in front of him, flesh and bone. So yeah, he’ll hug him again, and Erwin accepts it, cradling the back of Levi’s head and chuckling softly against him.

“It’s good to see you, Levi,” he murmurs.

When Levi laughs, he feels giddy. It’s unreal, seeing Erwin again. It’s more than just _good_ to see him, to touch and hold him. It’s everything Levi has been searching for for years, and by the way that Erwin embraces him in return, the same can be said for him.

Finally, Levi detaches from Erwin, taking a step back to drink in the sight of him. He can’t control the smile that takes over. “You look… The same,” he says teasingly, trying to make light of their weird, fucked up situation. “You know, more like a business man -”

“- And I have both arms,” Erwin replies, his lips twitching slightly.

“Very funny,” Levi snorts. It’s only then, once it’s quiet between them, that Levi realizes that this is a once in a lifetime encounter. What were the odds of him and Erwin finding one another here, in the airport of all places? Then, as his thoughts wander, it dawns on him that the only reason they _did_ run into one another is because they were likely each on their way to separate flights. And, just like that, the elation dissipates and dread fills his body. He doesn’t want to say goodbye to Erwin so soon. Not again.

“Where are you headed?” he asks, glancing down at Erwin’s carry-on suitcase, then back up at his face. He watches as Erwin’s smile fades as well, as it he just realized the reality of their situation, too. The fact of the matter is, before they collided (much like last time) they were living two very different lives.

“California,” Erwin answers, his lips a hard line, “For business. What about you?”

Levi nods, scratching awkwardly at the back of his neck. “Texas. My mom lives down there.”

Erwin raises his eyebrows, “Your mother?” When Levi nods, he smiles, “How is she doing?”

“Good,” Levi answers, “Yeah, she’s doing good.”

“That’s great to hear,” Erwin replies. Obviously, he must remember Levi’s mother from lifetimes ago - how he lost her when he was just a child last time, and at merely twenty-two the time before that.

“Yeah,” Levi mutters. Although seeing Erwin and being able to talk to and touch him once more is everything he dreamed of, it’s inevitable that they have to part ways soon. But this is good, he reminds himself - they’ve found one another. This lifetime is easier. Maybe they can exchange phone numbers, can plan to meet sometime soon. Maybe, Erwin lives in Michigan as well, and he isn’t too far away. Levi can dream.

But then, Erwin surprises Levi once more.

“Levi…” he says, voice low, taking a step forward once more. Erwin reaches out, a hand on Levi’s elbow, eyes earnest as he speaks. “I might miss my flight.”

Levi swallows, throat tight. “It’s fine,” he begins, “We can talk later, let me give you my number and I -”

“ _No_ ,” Erwin interrupts before he can finish, “What I mean is, I _can_ miss this flight, if you can miss yours. I apologize if this is too forward, and I understand if you need to visit your mother, but I don’t want to say goodbye to you just yet, and -”

“Are you kidding me?” Levi cuts him off, incredulous, “Yeah. _Fuck yeah_. I can miss my flight. It’s fine. Let’s go.”

And before they can even begin to formulate a plan or before Levi can actually decide what he’s going to tell his mom, he’s reaching out, grabbing Erwin’s hand and tugging him forward, reveling in the way that Erwin squeezes back, laughing at his excitement.

* * *

 

It turns out that Erwin does not, in fact live in Michigan. As it turns out, he works for a travel agency based in California and flies across the country frequently. This time around, he just happened to have a layover, and then a delayed flight in Michigan. Now, that flight is cancelled, or it might as well be, because in no time, he is following Levi out of the terminal, out to catch a shuttle, and climbing into the passenger seat of his car.

By the time the two of them reach the parking lot and retrieve Levi’s vehicle, the sun is becoming low in the sky, and as soon as they’re seated inside the car, it hits Levi that they don’t have a plan. What are they supposed to do? How long is Erwin going to stay? Just for the day? Will he stay the night? Should Levi take him home?

“I’m not very familiar with this area,” Erwin admits after a moment of silence, and Levi quickly realizes that he hasn’t said a word, that he has no idea what they’re doing, and Erwin is probably just as unsure as him. Thankfully, Erwin is much better at taking control of a situation, though. “But…” he continues, “I would love to grab some dinner and a conversation. My treat.”

To that, Levi can’t help but smile and agree.

About half an hour later, they find themselves pulling up to a hole in the wall Italian restaurant that Levi frequents whenever he’s downtown. It’s nothing special, but the food is incredible, and it’s usually very secluded and quiet, just what they’ll likely need tonight. The drive there is mostly silent, Erwin phoning his boss to inform him that he missed his flight, that he’ll be staying in Michigan with a friend until he can catch another one, and then Levi calls his mom to tell her that something came up, that he’ll let her know when he can make it out. It’s a bullshit excuse and he does sound disappointed, but this is a chance that Levi can’t pass up.

So half an hour later, Levi finds himself sitting across from Erwin, watching as the other man takes a sip of wine, staring in disbelief because he’s really, actually there. When the initial awkwardness and tension passes, though, it’s simply like reconnecting with an old friend after a long time apart. That’s basically what this is, anyway.

“So aside from your mother and Kenny, have you found anyone else?” Erwin asks over drinks and garlic bread.

Levi shakes his head no. Kenny came into his life when he was about five years old, his mother’s estranged brother. Levi has always been unsure if Kenny remembers their past lives or not, but if he does, he doesn’t make it known. He’s still just as abrasive and crass as he was a lifetime ago, albeit kinder. Levi quickly learns that his uncle got in quite a bit of trouble with the law in his teens and twenties, but has settled down considerably since then - it’s a nice change of pace, and Levi certainly doesn’t hate having him in his life. Unfortunately, he has been unable to reach anyone else, until now.

“No,” he answers, “I haven’t necessarily been looking for anyone but -”

 _Anyone but you_ , he doesn’t finish. Instead, he clears his throat. “But if you’re here, then the others have to be, too. It’s just a matter of finding them.”

Erwin hums, nodding. “When I first remembered, I kept seeing Mike, Hange, Nanaba… You, in random faces in the crowd, and then suddenly, you’d disappear. It was… _Hard_.”

The way that Erwin speaks makes Levi want to crumble right then and there. He has been searching, too, for God knows how long. And if his words and the way he speaks are any indicator, it has been just as difficult and painful for him as it has been for Levi.

Erwin must see the way that Levi’s face falls at that, because suddenly, he’s reaching across the table, their fingers brushing for just a moment. “But I’ve found you,” he assures, “That’s a good start.”

Levi huffs out a strained laugh, “You can say that again.”

In that moment, with Erwin’s hand on his own, Levi wants nothing more than to lace their fingers together, to tell him how hard he searched, how much he missed him, after he was gone in their past life, and before he found him in this one.

But that’s a conversation for another time. They’ve just barely reconnected this time around. There is so much for them to catch up. So much to learn and relearn.

Levi made Erwin promise to find him in another life, and he has. This is just the beginning, and as they sit across from one another in that restaurant, the final words they spoke to one another echo in Levi’s head.

_If things weren’t what they are now-_

_Yes, of course, Levi._

Some things don’t change, though. In this lifetime, Erwin still lost his father at a fairly young age - cancer, of all things - but thankfully, still has his mother, even now. Some things never change, and the way that the two of them dance around one another throughout dinner is proof of that. A lifetime ago, they knew that had their circumstance been different, they would be together, but even now that everything has changed, it seems that some things still remain the same. Their reunion was warm and welcoming, but not romantic in any sense of the word. Levi is certain that if it is to happen, it’ll take time.

When they leave the restaurant nearly two hours later, the sun has long since set, and in its place, storm clouds have overtaken the city. At some point in the evening, it must have started raining, because when the two men step out of the building, they’re met by a sheet of water and the occasional flash of lightning.

Some things never change, and like their previous lifetime and the life before that, they seem to have found one another in a thunderstorm.

For a moment, they both stand under the awning of the building, watching the rain come down. Erwin reaches out, letting a few droplets of water splash on his hand before shaking dry and returning it to his side with a smile on his face, and immediately, Levi is reminded of a moment from a lifetime ago. Memories, like before, come flooding back to Levi - standing in the shelter of a building while the rain drenches everything else around them. Erwin, leaning down, tilting his chin up…

When Levi looks at Erwin, is obvious that the other man remembers, too. He opens his mouth to say something, but scared and uncertain, Levi cuts him off.

“I only live about an hour away,” he says, breaking the moment before he can do or say something stupid. “You’re welcome to stay the night. You know, since you missed your flight and all.”

When Levi first speaks, he doesn’t miss the way that Erwin’s face falls, as if he had been expecting something else, but as soon as he invites the other man over, he smiles. “I’d like that,” Erwin says softly, “It seems we have quite a bit of catching up to do.”

Although the two spent the better half of two hours doing exactly that, Levi knows what Erwin is talking about. They’ve mostly spent the entire time talking about their current lives, their families and what they have been doing up until this point, but Levi is certain that Erwin is talking about their past life together. Obviously, the man will have unanswered questions, and though Levi will be happy to answer them, he’s also sure Erwin won’t be happy to hear that he didn’t last too long without him.

As soon as it is decided that Erwin is staying, though, the two make their way to the car, running through the pouring rain to avoid the rain. What results is two grown men, still very soaking wet, sitting in Levi’s car, attempting to catch their breath and laughing at the absurdity of the situation. Levi doubles over on the steering wheel, chest heaving, hair soaked and dripping into his lap, and he quickly finds that he can’t wipe the smile from his face, nor does he want to. It is the first time in a long time that Levi has felt this _good_ , and when Levi looks in Erwin’s direction, he is smiling as well. For the first time since their meeting in the airport, Levi allows himself to _look_. Why would he want to look away, after all? He never thought he’d see Erwin again, thought that he was just a dream, a distant memory, a piece of his past that he’d never get back.

For years, Levi thought that his last memory of Erwin would be that of a previous life, of Erwin perishing on top of that roof after fighting for far too long. And then, just as fast as that joy rises in Levi’s chest, it’s gone, replaced by fear, guilt and longing. The fact of the matter is, the last time he saw Erwin _was_ when he died - when Levi had the serum _right there_ in his hands, and chose Armin instead.

And Erwin, perceptive as ever, catches the way that the smile fades from Levi’s face, sees the far off look in his eyes. “What is it?” he asks, his own smile disappearing, concern painting his features.

Levi shakes his head, sending little droplets of water flying. “Nothing.” He starts the car in an attempt to drop the subject. “Let’s get going.”

“ _Levi_.” Erwin presses. He reaches out, fingers coming to rest over Levi’s on the steering wheel. “You can tell me,” he insists, voice earnest, warm.

Years, _lifetimes_ have passed, and still, Levi is just as terrible as ever when it comes to expressing his emotions, especially to Erwin.

But just as that thought crosses Levi’s mind, he makes a decision. Life is too short to hide, to skirt around things and lie about what he feels. He has already made that mistake once before, and it left him alone and scared in the end, it cost him his best friends, his almost lover, his Commander. He doesn’t want to lose Erwin again, be it by death or his own stupid emotions and lack of communication.

“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” Levi finally admits. His voice is hushed, but it all comes out in a rush, like a punch to the gut. And when he starts talking, he can’t stop. “All these years, the last memory I had of you was on that rooftop… Making that decision for you.”

Erwin’s expression immediately softens when he realizes what Levi is talking about. “Levi -”

“It’s fucked up,” Levi continues, shaking his head, “It wasn’t right. It wasn’t my choice to make, and I just… I let you -”

“You did what you had to do,” Erwin insists, voice gentle.

“That doesn’t mean it was right,” Levi argues, averting his eyes. He can’t stand the way that Erwin is looking at him right now, like he feels bad for him. He doesn’t deserve it.

“It doesn’t matter now.”

Levi scoffs. “Fuck that, yeah it does. I let you _die_ , Erwin.” Levi looks up once more, eyes burning. “After everything you fought for, I just let you die.”

Erwin is silent for a moment, eyes searching Levi’s face, as if he can decipher his words just by looking at him. Then, just when Levi thinks that their discussion is over, Erwin asks, “And why was that?”

 _“ What_ _?”_ Levi asks, confused and surprised.

“Why did you make that choice?”

Levi shakes his head, shame washing over him once more. “It was selfish. Stupid. I thought that maybe, you’d be better off if you didn’t have to fight anymore. That I could either turn you into a monster, or hope that I hadn’t been wrong all of those years… That you’d be happier somewhere else, in another life.”

“And were you wrong?” Erwin asks, another question instead of an answer.

“I don’t know,” Levi mutters, jaw tight, “Are you happy?”

Erwin offers Levi a small smile, his eyes never leaving his face. “Levi, I entrusted you to make the right choice when the time came, and I’m telling you right now that you did,” Erwin squeezes his hand gently as he speaks. “I _am_ happy.”

Overcome with emotion once more, Levi averts his eyes, muttering out a wet, _“Fuck_.”

No more questions come. Erwin doesn’t ask Levi what happened after he was gone, he doesn’t ask how long Levi made it without him, if they found the basement, if they defeated the titans. None of that matters anymore, at least not right now. Maybe sometime in the future, Erwin will ask and Levi will tell him, but right now, all that matters is here, this moment.

“Levi,” Erwin’s voice breaks the silence once more, taking on a gentle, tentative tone, “I - is it alright if -”

He stumbles over the question, and that’s all it takes for Levi to look up once more, his eyes meeting Erwin’s warm, earnest gaze. It’s not the first time he has seen this look on Erwin, but it is the first time in a _long_ time. In fact, it has been over a lifetime, but Levi remembers this look. He could never forget the way that Erwin gazed down at him, standing under that building in the pouring rain, so young and carefree and completely, hopelessly in love. He will never forget the way that Erwin gently tilted his chin up and leaned down, pressing their lips together -

In an instant, before Erwin is able to get the words out, Levi knows what is being asked. His response may come fast, a little too exctied, but he has been waiting for over a lifetime, now.

“Yeah,” he murmurs, “ _Yeah_ , Erwin.”

And, just like before, Erwin reaches forward, his fingers soft, gentle and warm when they dance across Levi’s cheek, his jaw, before coming to rest on his chin. His thumb swipes across his bottom lip, and Levi’s lips part, the breath knocked from his lungs as he gazes up at the man next to him with heavy lids. Erwin studies Levi’s face for a moment, in the dim light of the car, before he finally, slowly leans across the car, pressing their lips together, kissing him gently, as if they’ve done it a million times before. And in a sense, they have - it has just been a while.

The second their lips connect, Levi becomes pliant against Erwin, his body relaxing and mind falling silent. For now, nothing matters except for this moment right here, Erwin’s lips pressed gently against his own, his fingers warm on his skin. When Erwin’s free hand finds its way to Levi’s hair, fingers gently threading through soft locks, Levi reaches forward, searching for purchase on Erwin’s damp shirt, his arm, anything he can get his hands on. And when they part, Levi finds himself breathless, head pressed into the crook of Erwin’s neck. For a moment, the only thing that Levi can hear is Erwin’s breathing and the sound of the rain pattering on the roof of his car.

When the silence is broken, it’s Erwin who speaks, his voice a soft, sleepy murmur. “I’ve waited a lifetime to do that.”

Levi huffs out a laugh. “Took you long enough,” he mutters into Erwin’s skin before pulling back to look at him. Then, Erwin is laughing, too. Then, they’re kissing again, this time brief, short and sweet.

 _“Fuck_ ,” Levi mutters against Erwin’s chest once they part once more, “I missed you.”

Fingers running through his hair, hand cradling the back of his head, Levi feels safe in Erwin’s arms. Feels like he’s at home. Erwin presses a kiss to his temple, murmuring out a soft, “I’m not going anywhere.”

* * *

 

If there’s one thing Levi cherishes about this life, it is his solitude. It’s his secluded house on the lake, his job that allows him to work from home, and the beautiful scenery that surrounds his house when he decides that he needs to take a walk to clear his head. It’s the large windows in his kitchen that overlook the cliff and the never ending expanse of water outside of his back door. This morning in particular, he loves the way that the sunrise dances off of the gentle, rolling waves. It isn’t an ocean, but it’s the next best thing, and Levi revels in the peaceful quiet as he cooks breakfast.

The past few months have been nothing short of complicated, but it has been worth it. After meeting Erwin in the airport, their kiss in the car and the night that followed, ending in both of them finding themselves tangled in Levi’s sheets, out of breath but full of love, life continues. Eventually, Erwin does have to leave for work, and Levi needs to reschedule his trip to visit his mother before she flies to Michigan herself to personally chew his head off. With a parting kiss, the two bid one another farewell in the same airport that they met, with an unspoken promise to see one another again soon. After all, Levi could never let Erwin out of his life once more after how long he waited to see him again.

It takes a few months, but finally, things begin to fall into place. Erwin books a flight and sends Levi a screenshot of his itinerary, which curiously, does not include a return flight home. Unsurprisingly, Levi doesn’t mind.

“Good morning,” Erwin murmurs sleepily, shaking Levi from his thoughts. He turns from where he had been standing, staring out of the kitchen window, to lay his eyes on a half-awake, half-dressed Erwin, leaning against the wall, offering Levi a sleepy smile.

Levi returns it, stepping back into the kitchen. “I made coffee,” he says, grabbing a mug and offering it to Erwin, who immediately reaches for the pot. “And breakfast is almost ready. You slept in.”

Erwin huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, I was up late.”

Levi raises an eyebrow. “I thought you went to bed when I did.”

“I tried,” Erwin says, “But I couldn’t sleep. That, and I had some work to do.”

Levi scoffs. “I thought you were on vacation time.”

“I am,” Erwin replies. His voice becomes a bit more sturdy as he sips his coffee, watching as Levi flips a pancake before deciding that it is ready. Without being asked, Erwin reaches into a cabinet to grab two plates, earning a fond smile from Levi.

It has only been a little over a week since Erwin arrived, since they reunited once more after finding each other in this lifetime, and it’s almost as if Erwin has been living with him for years. They work well together, as they always have, and as that thought crosses Levi’s mind, he can’t help but feel a pang of dread in his chest. Eventually, Erwin going to have to go back home. Eventually, this life will become messy, too, and they’re going to have to figure something out.

Levi clears his throat. “Speaking of which,” he says carefully, “When _do_ you have to go back to work?”

He hopes that his words don’t come off as pushy. It’s not that he wants Erwin to leave, but he’d rather not be blindsided by his absence.

“Well…” Erwin starts, voice tentative, careful, and that pit of dread deepens. “That’s actually why I was up so late last night.”

 _So he’s leaving soon_.

Levi hums, turning away from Erwin both to plate their breakfast and also to hide the disappointment that is likely etched into his features. Life has to continue, he gets that, but he has already waited _so long_ for Erwin. He doesn’t want him to leave just yet.

“There’s an office in Saginaw,” Erwin says, matter-of-factly, straight to the point as he always has been. “I put in a request to transfer last night.”

And at that, Levi freezes, eyes wide. “You -”

“I’m sorry,” Erwin says immediately, backtracking, “I know that I should have discussed it with you first, but I have really enjoyed my time with you, Levi. I don’t want to leave, and if you’ll have me -”

Levi turns, almost too quick, his world spinning around him, and finds Erwin directly behind him, concern written all over his face, worried that he has overstepped some invisible line when in reality, it’s everything Levi wants and more. Levi opens his mouth to speak, to assure Erwin that he wants him to stay, that he doesn’t want him to go anywhere, but nothing comes out. So instead, Levi lets himself stumble forward and into Erwin’s arms.

Erwin pulls him close, chuckling at his reaction. “I take that as a yes?”

Levi laughs too, hysterical and giddy and in disbelief. “Yeah,” he mutters against Erwin’s chest, “ _Fuck yeah_. Please stay, Erwin. I want you to stay.”

And, in an echo of his words from nearly two months ago, from their first meeting in this lifetime, Erwin murmurs, “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to switch things up by having Levi remember a past live in canon, because I've never written it before. I hope it translated alright. Also I just want these two to be happy.


End file.
